Day 1 – October 6th: Morning

S opened the front door and stepped out onto the brick porch. It was a wall of smoke. You may have heard that expression before, but I had never actually SEEN it. It was a barricade. Apparently, smoke is comprised of tiny particles, ash, liquid, etc. that is denser than air and once the temperature of the smoke reaches the temperature of the outside air it no longer rises. It falls towards the ground. We could not even see the driveway cement. It was that thick. Like a smoke blanket. We were covered in it.

I could hear someone yelling. “Come over here! Hurry! RUN!!! Keep coming, keep coming!” It was our neighbor to the right. He was down by the street. We couldn’t see him, but he was yelling and all I could do was drag the kids and myself towards his voice. We were trying to run – I couldn’t figure out why the kids were stumbling. Oh yeah, they were barefoot. Still in their pajamas. I look back and see Husband finally making it out the front door. A feeling of relief came over me for a split second, and then the panic was back. No fire trucks. I could hear them in the distance but none were there. Why were they taking so long? The roads were empty except for me and my family standing by the street light -- watching our house burn. The kids cried. I was stoic.

This next part is like a dream to me. I remember so many things happening all at once. If you asked any one of us about this particular time period, I think all our stories would be drastically different. All 5 of us were doing different things throughout the rest of the day. I don’t recall being altogether again with just us five except for the trip to the ambulance and then again later that evening. It was such a blur.

The kids and I went across the street to our neighbor’s house; N & G. N was the one that always looked after the house when we went on vacations. She kept our mail and found us a landscaper last summer. We BANGED on their front door. I mean BANGED. All three kids and myself used fists and beat on her door until they opened it. Their faces when they opened the door -- I cannot describe the look of pure shock. She took the kids from me and put them on her couch. By this time another neighbor, whom I didn’t know, came up and gave us some slippers for the kids. And a blanket. S was shaking.

I stepped out onto her porch. My face was hot from the flames across the street as I called my Mom and told her my house was burning down. No words.

The fire trucks arrived. People were everywhere. Police SUVs blocked both entrances to our street. Sirens. Lights. Heat. Crackling sounds in the air mixed with the scent of ash. Still no rain.

I kept getting alerts on my phone – the news crew was already filming and our house was on the 5am morning news. Friends and co-workers were recognizing the house and street on T.V. and calling and texting. The entire morning was like that. I couldn’t even breathe.